/ trans

One Year Retrospective

One year ago today, I officially started medical transition. It's weird saying that... A year ago today, most of you guys knew me by a different name, used different pronouns when referring to me, and didn't even know about one of the biggest things about me, a secret that several years ago, I thought I would take to the grave. In last March, when I was celebrating my 24th birthday, practically none of you had any clue about any of this. Crazy fucking shit. But now I'm out, I don't have any more secrets, and trans rights are huge. Fucking Caitlyn Jenner just came out, and was on the cover of Vanity Fair. It's nuts. But this post isn't about that. I am just gonna talk a bit about about my past year.

Since I started transitioning a lot has happened. When I started, I was in college full-time, and working at BASCOM full-time as a programmer. I'd go out to bars a lot with my friends, and I'm thankful that all of my friends from back then were all fully supportive and have remained my friends: a privilege many trans people don't have. And last year, at this time, all of the friends I went out with knew as well, and they were a huge support, and I'm so fucking thankful for that. <3 <3

I moved out of my parents house, and in with one of those aforementioned amazing friends. I think aside from transitioning, this was the best decision I ever made. While I love my parents, it got kind of awkward living in the home I spent so much time in as a kid. And not only that, I still kind of felt like a kid to a degree. I'm not saying I feel like an adult now; I'm still just as immature as always. But shit, I was 24 and they were still annoying me and guilting me when I'd stay out too late, or up too late. I'd constantly get nagged about school work, or guilted for not having enough time to mow the lawn every weekend (I was in school full-time and working full-time, give me a break). Plus, it was just weird with being trans. They support me, but my mom is still a bit weird about it, as expected for someone who thought she knew everything about me. And I just constantly see shit from my childhood in that house. I needed out, and I needed a bit of a buffer. So I was complaining to Elle about it at her bar after her shift one night in November, and she was said, "well, I'm looking for a roommate soon, if you want to get away from there." So I was like, "let me take a look!" I moved in a few weeks later, and it's been amazing.

I've also found an amazing girlfriend on okcupid in March. I know, internet dating is full of weirdos: that's why I did it. But it's funny, actually. Kat actually has seen me around the trans sections of Reddit, and I've seen her too... But we never connected on there. It wasn't until after we started talking on okcupid and Facebook, then met in real life a few days after, I knew what was up. And honestly, I don't know how much of this is because I'm actually being authentic now and not holding a huge part of me back, and how much of it is just thanks to my huge amount of attraction towards her, but I've never felt this way about anyone before. And it feels great.

My old job at BASCOM, technically an internship, began shutting down in April. They let me know about three weeks before I was let go. It was terrifying. I was just finishing college, I thought I'd have a cool job lined up for when I graduated and I could end my almost three year "internship" working full time and actually get a "real" position. Hell, I was working hard enough for a real position. I was one of two programmers, I wrote a Chrome extension, most of the front-end of their new flagship cloud-based web filter, and did so much more. And then when a month away from graduating they were like, "Whelp, we're shutting down." So I was like, now what? I had only a few weeks to find a new job. First, I redid my resume. Then, I applied to the #1 company I wanted to work for: my favorite webhost, DigitalOcean. Then I applied for several other companies.... Several weeks later, I had an offer from one of the other companies, but I was waiting for a final interview the next week with DO. So I called DO up, told them what happened, they moved up the final interview and hired me that week. So now I work in the support department at DigitalOcean, and I love it. If you need a simple, self-managed VPS to do development work on or to host a website or service, check us out.

I've also graduated college, after seven years. It took me a while... Part of it was due to the depression that comes from dysphoria, part of it was simply because I didn't know what I wanted to do. But hey, now I've graduated with a BS in Computer Programming and Information Systems, so that's pretty great.

A year ago tonight, I took my very first estrogen and antiandrogen pills with one of my closest friends, Kristina, at her store. That night I celebrated at KJ Farrells (for Karaoke) with some of my closest friends. Tonight, I'll be at Governor's Ball with Elle. So yeah... It's been a fucking eventful year. I moved out, found love, lost my job, got a better job, and so much more. It's been great, and I can't wait to see what the next year will bring! :)

Me at 1 year :D